Monday, October 3, 2011

Changing gears

            That grinding sound you hear is the sound of me changing gears.
            First, a brief update. I received the proof copy of “What Rough Beast” and put it into the hands of a proofreader. Errors and typos will be corrected, it will be resubmitted to the publisher and, if things continue on track, the book will be available in October. Also, my website is under construction. I don’t have a completion date but I expect it will also be in October. Now. Changing gears.
            I’m a writer and I want what every writer wants. I want you to read what I write. The whole point of starting this blog was to allow you to get to know me and my style of writing. It was to give you glimpses of my personality and of the way I view the world so you could decide whether or not you want to spend your valuable time and your hard-earned money on books that I write. Obviously, I wanted you to decide that you did.
            I’ve been holding back on you.
            I’ve spent a lot of energy during my adult life in constructing and presenting a certain image. What I’ve created is a Chris who cares too much what people think of him. When I was a child, a teen and a young adult, I didn’t care if you liked me, I didn’t care what you thought of me. I was who I was and you could take it or leave it. I changed when I entered the ministry. Ministers are required to think too much about their public persona. As the ‘face of the church’, ministers often find it necessary to dial back some of the intensity and be what people want them to be. That transformation required a lot of energy from me because I had to put a damper on my intensity. That was difficult because I’m a man with intense and passionate feelings about certain things.
            I feel passionately about meaning. I am incapable of going about my life and not digging into what it means to be a living creature. And I am equally incapable of allowing other people who don’t know ‘where I’ve been’ to impose upon me their definitions of meaning.
            Meaning cannot be divorced from the divine. I have an intense interest it the divine, and the divine has an intense interest in me.
            Relationships cannot be separated from either of the above. Our relationships with others are the reflections of ourselves in the mirror of our hearts.
            And I love people. Every human interaction is an opportunity to catch a glimpse or hear a whisper of the divine. Every human interaction is an opportunity to be a glimpse or whisper of the divine.
            I also have passionate dislikes. I hate people who use guilt and fear to manipulate others. I hate injustice; I hate its every face and form. I hate greed, in particular greed that is hidden behind a façade of benevolence. And I hate apathy, especially my own.
            What’s the point of this? I’m changing gears. I’m tired of hiding behind the mask of myself. I’m going to let you see the unapologetic Chris, what he likes and what he doesn’t like. I feel compelled to do so. Originally, I just wanted to entice you to buy my books, but there are more important things than selling a few books.

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